All About Relationships

Love is one of the most profound emotions known to human beings. There are many kinds of love, but most people seek its expression in a romantic relationship with a compatible partner. For some, romantic relationships are the most meaningful element of life, providing a source of deep fulfillment. The ability to have a healthy, loving relationship is not innate. A great deal of evidence suggests that the ability to form a stable relationship begins in infancy, in a child's earliest experiences with a caregiver who reliably meets the infant's needs for food, care, protection, stimulation, and social contact. Those relationships are not destiny, but they appear to establish patterns of relating to others. Failed relationships happen for many reasons, and the failure of a relationship is often a source of great psychological anguish. Most of us have to work consciously to master the skills necessary to make them flourish.

Recent posts on Relationships

Stop the Hovering...

As your perception of your grown children has changed, their perception of you should change as well.

"I-Knew-It-All-Along": 3 Steps to Avoid Living in The Past

By Zack Carter Ph.D. on July 20, 2017 in Clear Communication
Does your hindsight 20/20 need a vision test?

Things May Look Better When You Have Company

Bringing a friend along to the movies or a trip to the museum could make you enjoy it more—even if you don’t interact with your friend. Here's why.

What Business Are Therapists (Really) In?

Is your therapist doing therapy?

Addendum to Privilege, Responsibility, and Nonviolence

After posting my recent post, I received a comment that completely surprised me, in which I was challenged about what I thought was the opposite of what I said.

Money and a Room of One’s Own

By Jenni Ogden Ph.D. on July 20, 2017 in Trouble in Mind
The Bank of England has unveiled a ten pound note celebrating Jane Austen. Virginia Woolfe also has some insightful messages, still relevant today, about money and women writers.

A Guide to the Fantasy Bond

Many struggles we face in our current interpersonal relationships arise from a core defense formed in childhood known as the “fantasy bond.”
Pressmaster/Shutterstock

Five Tips for Taking Your Online Dating Relationship Offline

What good is online dating if the first date doesn’t work out?

She's Such a Kind, Malicious Narcissist

By Steven Berglas Ph.D. on July 19, 2017 in Executive Ego
There's a paradoxical form of narcissism that involves compulsive giving. Essentially it's a way of bribing people into attachment.

Secure Attachment: The Norm in Interethnic Relationships

How accurate are negative stereotypes about individuals who form long-term relationships across ethnic lines? Attachment studies suggest that the stereotypes are false.

The Psychology of Revenge (and Vengeful People)

By Peg Streep on July 19, 2017 in Tech Support
Is revenge really sweet? And what makes people vengeful? Does playing tit for tat make you feel better? Or not? The science of revenge.

The Truth About How to Develop Robust Resilience

It is one thing to be individually resilient. But if you want to sustain successful business relationships in the heat of change, you need to see resilience as social.

What The Handmaid's Tale Can Teach Us About Coerced Women

By Carol A. Lambert, MSW on July 18, 2017 in Mind Games
Current attention to women's rights begs us to address what's behind closed doors.

What Can We Learn About Race From The Bachelorette?

With the first black bachelorette being cast on this season of The Bachelorette, how has the ABC franchise tackled the issue of race and dating?

Facebook Infidelity: 10 Safeguards Your Marriage Needs Today

By Zack Carter Ph.D. on July 18, 2017 in Clear Communication
Most Americans now consider this cheating. Do you? It's time to fight this marriage cancer. Here's how...

Bridging Relationship Distress

Is it possible to cut each other free from the conflict?

What is the Right Size for a Group Conversation?

Why do we have to decrease the number of people involved in a conversation when we are gossiping about someone else?

Relationship Satisfaction Entails Playing By the Rules

Alternative relationship types come under scientific scrutiny in a new study on monogamous, open, and polyamorous couples. As long as you play fair, it seems that anything goes.

The Challenges of Intimacy

By Neel Burton M.D. on July 18, 2017 in Hide and Seek
Why intimacy requires constant vigilance.

No, Empathy Isn’t a Universal Value

By Sara Konrath Ph.D. on July 17, 2017 in The Empathy Gap
Which countries score the highest on empathy?

Six Simple Strategies to Stop Bullying

Time-consuming bullying prevention strategies are trumped by these six powerful ways trustworthy adults show kids that their safety is a priority and that they are valued.

In Kindness Will I Speak

In due season will I speak, not out of season. In truth will I speak, not in falsehood...

The Allure of Forbidden Relationships

Why we are drawn to forbidden relationships, and why it isn't helpful for others to try to prevent us from engaging in them.

Why Your Relationship Isn't As "Complicated" As You Think

By Jen Kim on July 17, 2017 in Valley Girl With a Brain
How #FakeNews infiltrates our romantic relationships

How Pornography May Be Damaging Relationships

People who view pornography are much more likely to experience a romantic relationship break up. We look at research data supporting this expectation and discuss pivotal factors.

Make Up or Break Up? 5 Ways Couples Reconcile After a Fight

New research has identified what men and women think are the most effective tactics used by couples to reconcile after a conflict.

The #1 Quality to Look for in a Romantic Partner

Professor and relationship expert shares the #1 quality to look for in a romantic partner and two tools you can use to figure out whether the person you're dating has it or not.
Lori Russell-Chapin

What Helps People Live a Long and Satisfying Life?

By Lori Russell-Chapin Ph.D. on July 16, 2017 in Brain Waves
Strengthen your face-to-face relationships. It will add years to your life!

The #1 Conversation Topic for a Great First Date

Research reveals that the number one topic of conversation of a successful first date is the woman.

7 Ways to Say “No” if You're Introverted or Shy

Often there’s a fear of rejection or a desire to avoid confrontation.