Dismissing Attachment and the Search for Love

Imagine a life of wanting love and connection, but not knowing how to tolerate it once you find it. It all makes sense once you understand the dynamics of dismissing attachment.

Don’t Create What You Defend Against: Don’t Build the Wall

When we defend ourselves too strongly and without thinking about long-term outcomes, we tend to make situations worse and create the very outcomes we feared.

How to Be a Secure Base of Attachment for the Holidays

Does the thought of the family holiday gathering stress you out? Attachment theory can teach you to be a "secure base," lower everyone's anxiety, and enjoy your family and friends.

Learn How to Argue and “Take the Hit"

It doesn’t take bravery to run away from an argument or to lash out and counterattack. So, learn to fight with honor, address the real issues, and have conflict be productive.

Managing Relationship Conflict: Letting Go of Being Right

Tired of having arguments that end with you and your partner insisting that you both are right about long ago events? Learn to let go of being right and find strategies that work.

Finding Hope and Security in Relationships

Scientific research demonstrates that you can learn to become a “secure base” for others in order to help them develop confidence and hope for the future. You also can learn how to pick people who can provide a secure base to you and give you the sensitivity and support that you deserve in creating a life full of hope and promise.

How to Use Your Emotions to Build Relationships that Work

Using emotions to decide how to behave in any given situation is vital. Emotions are important pieces of data. They tell us something about our environment or situation that our conscious/rational minds might otherwise miss. Using attachment theory, you can learn to use emotions as data to make good choices regarding how and when to communicate in your relationships.

Finding a Secure Base and Rewiring Your Personality

One way to change your insecure attachment style to that of having an “earned” secure style is to find and nurture your own secure base in adulthood. Learn what to look for and how to create for yourself the experiences that naturally instill mental health and well-being. It is never too late to rewire your personality in a way that works better for you and leads to more h

Couples 101: The Emotional Dance of Intimacy

Most couples start their relationships with starry dreams and positive expectations. But, sometimes relationship patterns develop that leave us feeling resentful and stuck. Understanding your own and your partner’s attachment style can help you negotiate this emotional dance with grace, and develop patterns that allow you to have the relationship you want and deserve.

Come Here-Go Away; the Dynamics of Fearful Attachment

Adults “fearful” attachment styles feel lonely and want closeness in relationships; at the same time, they are avoid close relationships because of possible rejection or emotional injury. Learn how understanding this style can free you of the tyranny of your emotions so that you can live with intent. You can also learn to love and help your loved ones with this style.

Fear of Intimacy and Closeness in Relationships

Being in a relationship with someone who shuts down emotionally when times get tough is no fun. It’s also no fun to try your best only to have others accuse you of not being emotionally available. Learning where these avoidant personality styles come from can help you cope more effectively with stress in your relationships and have a more rewarding experience.

Overcoming Relationship Anxiety and Feeling Good About It

Worrying about your relationships all the time and wondering if you are going to be marginalized or rejected is no fun. If you have an anxious attachment style then you know this all to well. The good news is that now you can learn to override your automatic emotional responses and have more positive experiences in relationships.

The Keys to Rewarding Relationships: Secure Attachment

If everyone could read social situations accurately, not get flooded or hijacked by strong emotions, and respond in a kind, empathetic, non-defensive and constructive manner, the world would be a more accepting and predictable place. Understanding the processes underlying secure attachment can help you get there and experience more rewarding and healthy relationships.

The Keys to Rewarding Relationships

Relationships can be difficult and navigating them can be frustrating. Understanding how your emotional system is wired, how and why you pick up on or ignore threats of social rejection, and how your emotions and thoughts influence each other and your behaviors, you can consciously choose how to act in your social interactions and have the kinds of experiences you deserve.

The Freedom to Change Your Experience of the Holidays

Although it should be a time of joy and celebration, many of us look toward the holidays with a sense of foreboding. The good news is that once you grasp some basic principles, you can implement these twelve suggested strategies for making the most of your time with family and friends across the holiday season.