What makes us happiest and content in life? Some people may point to fabulous fame and fortune. Yet hands down, surveys show that friends and family are the real prize. Even though our need to connect is innate, some of us are always home alone. On the flip side, some people who are surrounded by others throughout the day, or even be in a lifelong marriage, still experience a deep and pervasive loneliness. Feelings of loneliness and isolation affect all types and ages of people, although some, like adolescents and the elderly, are more likely to be impacted than others. It doesn’t matter if a teenager has 500 Instagram connections, that vast network can’t ameliorate the emotional desolation of loneliness. Fewer but closer personal relationships are more important. The elderly are also at high risk of loneliness and isolation. Research reports that more than 20 percent of people over age 60 frequently feel intensely lonely.
Suffering from loneliness is similar to suffering from physical pain. In one experiment, the use of Tylenol lessened the aches of loneliness. With a dose of acetaminophen, scans of lonely individuals showed reduced activity in pain-processing areas of the brain. In addition, loneliness heightens the fight-or-flight response—a physiological reaction when a person faces harm or danger. This heightened response can make a person irritable, even angry. Instead of welcoming connection with others, the lonely person attacks others in anger. He is under constant threat, thus feeding a detrimental cycle of isolation and disconnection.