Ten Warning Signs Your Relationship Has Ended

How to tell when it is time to make an emergency exit from your relationship.

Posted Feb 12, 2019

SFIO CRACHO/Shutterstock
Source: SFIO CRACHO/Shutterstock

Relationships require a lot of work for both parties involved, and there is no perfect recipe for a successful relationship, as each romance is unique. Compromise, communication, independence, honesty, empathy, patience, and passion are all key ingredients for a thriving relationship, and when one of these traits is left out, your partnership has a huge potential to go haywire. Leaving an unhealthy or a broken relationship can be difficult, as it requires breaking out of your comfort zone, becoming vulnerable to loss and loneliness, leaving behind many happy memories, and potentially encountering legal battles, custody fights, and financial burdens. However, staying in a relationship where you are unhappy will not benefit you in the long-term and can eventually wreak havoc on your emotional and mental health. The following are telltale signs that it is time to leave your romantic relationship behind:

1. There is no reciprocation.

Are you always the one initiating important conversations, planning date nights and getaways, and making future goals for your relationship? Relationships are a partnership, and although they do not have to be 50/50 all of the time, a joint effort is necessary in order for both individuals to thrive and feel appreciated.

2. Your values are compromised.

Maybe he does not celebrate Christmas, but it is your favorite holiday, or you are religious, but he does not go to church. Although it is important to maintain your individuality in a relationship, you should never compromise your core values for the sake of your partner or for the sake of your relationship. Neither party in a relationship should lose the essence of who they are as individuals. It is important to note that relationships are meant to uplift and evolve, rather than diminish and destroy.

3. You no longer desire physical intimacy with your partner.

Sex is not everything, but it is a major component in a relationship, and if that desire is gone, then it may be time to move on from that relationship.

4. You cannot communicate with your partner.

You cannot expect your partner to be able to read your mind, and as a result, your relationship will never be successful if you cannot communicate your thoughts and feelings. Being able to express your emotions to your partner in a healthy manner is important and requires trust. If you feel that you no longer can communicate your honest feelings, because your partner may criticize you or ignore you, then this is a clear indicator that you are not in a healthy relationship, and it is time to find the nearest exit route.   

5. You talk about the relationship improving in some hypothetical future.

Entering into a relationship with the intention of trying to change your partner or assuming that your relationship will improve upon certain contingencies is a recipe for disaster. You more than likely will become frustrated and feel let down. If you knew your partner will never change or your relationship will never improve, would you still be in it for the long haul?

6. Your partner does not want to spend time with your friends or family.

This a huge red flag, as it is important for couples to be able to share time with each other’s loved ones. If your significant other is constantly complaining about spending time with your family or making excuses to not attend your best friend’s birthday party, it is time to find the nearest emergency exit route and make a run for it. Your better half does not necessarily have to love every member of your family, but it is important that they respect your loved ones and do not protest when there are social gatherings involving others who are near and dear to you.

7. You feel unsupported.

Is your partner there for you when you are sick or stressed out, or does he only support you in good times? Do you feel you spend most of your time alone and have to confide in your friends and family more than in your partner? If you begin to feel as though your partner is no longer the primary player on your support team, then this is a sign you are in an unhealthy relationship.

8. Your happiness depends on your partner (codependency).

Although a relationship is a partnership, each partner should be able to maintain their own individuality. Having their own interests and passions, being able to enjoy their own alone time, and spending time with their own friends and family. A healthy relationship acts as an incubator for personal growth, and your own individual happiness should never solely depend on the status of your relationship with your partner. Once your day, week, month, and overall happiness depend on the success of your relationship, you are now codependent on your partner, and feelings of jealousy and insecurity will begin to surface.

9. You have to wear a mask.

In a serious, long-term relationship, you should feel comfortable in your own skin. You should not be fearful of expressing your feelings, your secrets, or your emotions, even if they are not pretty. Your partner should be able to accept you for who you are, regardless of your flaws and imperfections. When you are with the right partner, you feel at home in your own skin.

10. Your partner does not problem solve.

Arguments and fights are part of being in a relationship. Disagreements will happen, even when two people love and respect each other. Your partner should try to help you figure out the underlying triggers for your disagreements. Why are you fighting? If your partner does not seem to care where your disagreements are coming from or why you are feeling down, then they are not putting the relationship first. Your partner should want to reconcile after a fight and should want to learn from past mistakes. They should never leave you in the dust, throwing the problem your way and making you feel guilty. If your partner does not seem to care if things work out between you two, then take that as your cue that it is time to leave.

Not every relationship will withstand the test of time. Some relationships are just stepping stones on the path to bettering yourself as an individual by learning from mistakes and gaining new perspectives and experiences. The right person will come along when you least expect it; however, it is important that you are emotionally and mentally healthy before entering into another relationship.

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