Cathy Cress M.S.W.

Mom Loves You Best

Post Holiday Test for Sibling "I Hate You" Story

Is the villain in the family tragedy is a sibling?

Posted Dec 26, 2010

Did you spend the holiday with family then wake with a snarky emotional hangover? If your headache’s so bad that no alka seltzer sooths the psychic  pain , it may be time to look into the roots of your family script.

If the main villain in the family tragedy is a sibling or step sibling - here’s a post holiday quiz to see if you need help.

Did your brother or sister do something long ago that’s still  a weeping  wound in your mind? Does it keep you apart-  or on other sides of the room=especially awkward- during the holiday season when families are flocking together under mounds of discarded wrapping paper.

Find out if have a sibling “ I Hate You Story”:

Take the test below.

1. Have you told your sibling story more than once to the same person?

2.  Do you play the sibling events more than two times in a day in your mind?

3. Do you find yourself speaking to the sibling who hurt you even when the person is not there?

4. Have you made a commitment to yourself to tell the sibling  story without being upset then found yourself agitated anyway?

5. Is the sibling who hurt you a central character in your story?

6. When you tell your sibling  story does it remind you of other painful things that happened to you?

7. Does the  sibling story focus primarily on your pain and what you lost?

8. In your sibling  story is there a villain?

9. Have you made a commitment not to tell the  sibling story again and then broken your vow?

10. Do you look for other people with similar sibling  problems to tell your story to?

11. Has your sibling  story stayed the same over time?

12. Have you checked the details of your  sibling story for accuracy?

If you answer yes to five or more the  questions, there is a good chance you have a sibling  I Hate You “ story.

My Book Mom Loves You Best Forging and Forging Sibling Relationships  http://www.amazon.com/Mom-Loves-You-Best-Relationships/dp/0882823213 available on Amazon, tells you how to end your sibling I hate you story and make peace.

Read it after the holidays.

Make forgiveness as a gift to yourself.

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