Experts suggest ways to correct the habits that keep us from resting well.
Verified by Psychology Today
How to raise self-disciplined, connected, happy humans
Laura Markham Ph.D.
One way to quiet the inner critic is by shifting into your heart. Our hearts have access to a whole different level of problem-solving.
Show up 100% when you’re with your child. See how much more joy and delight you find in nurturing and guiding. And notice that it’s a gift to yourself as well.
The body has its own wisdom. If we can slow down long enough to really feel our bodies, we bypass all that negative chatter in our minds and tap into a deep spring of well-being.
If you find yourself tongue-tied during disagreements with your child, just remember connection, feelings, and solutions. You'll be amazed how the words come to you.
Within a month of repeatedly shifting from criticism to compassion, you'll actually be rewiring your brain.
Any time you have a disagreement with your partner in front of your child, it's essential that you affectionately and explicitly "repair" the relationship.
Consider your interactions with your partner through your child's eyes.
Managing a child's anger is a multi-step process. For those who need the best techniques to be readily accessible, here's a cheat sheet outlining what to do when anger strikes.
Perfection isn't possible, and it isn't even the goal. The goal is love.
We're teaching kids how to be in relationship with another person.
For today, just choose less drama and more love. You'll be amazed at how far that takes you.
Love is always in the room with you, no matter what day it is, or what your faith may be. What better time to help your child listen for it?
Happiness comes from connection, meaning, and contribution—not from things.
When your children look back, will they describe a parent who communicated the spirit of the season with laughter, warm embraces, and joyful presence?
You can commit to a better way of handling low-level fear when it arises, before it spirals out of control.
It creates a home with a lot less drama, and a lot more love.
Our children need to feel seen, accepted, and encouraged, no matter what.
One great way to course correct when you see a collision coming, or when you find yourself sitting in a pile of emotional wreckage, is to ask for a "Do-Over."
Once you pause, you can make the choice to shift gears.
With preventive maintenance, you meet your child's needs before the unmet needs cause a breakdown.
Not only will appreciating yourself make you happier with the way you parent, you'll find you enjoy parenting more. See how long it takes your child to comment on the difference.
Kids really do rise to meet our expectations, as long as we stay connected.
After a good cry your child is happier, more affectionate, more cooperative.
Why would a child choose, over and over, to do the harder thing?
How do kids develop their sense of right and wrong?
Slow down, so you can listen.
The secret is managing our anger so we stay connected with our child while we set limits.
Every time you do this process, you diminish the emotional charge of one of your emotional triggers.
Ever wondered why one parent can keep a sense of humor in the face of a child's challenging behavior while another starts yelling?
The path to happiness requires you to accept and love yourself just the way you are, messy imperfections and all.
Laura Markham, Ph.D., is the author of Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids: How To Stop Yelling and Start Connecting.