Sharing personal information brings people closer together. But how do you know when you’ve gone too far—or when someone else has ulterior motives?
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I want to personally thank the authors for opening this discussion which is central to my own research. I would love to have a round-table on this sometime to elaborate, but basically, although I appreciate the psychological and physiological aspects described, I find social and cultural considerations undiscussed...
Let me put it this way...the fear of no is so pervasive in this culture of the absent father that now it has become dangerous. The lack of initiation is devastating, especially for men. I see this in my own life, in my sons, and now in my grand-children as they try to navigate a mediated privileged and permissive society where reality is an obstacle for the fulfillment of desire. I spend time with indigenous peoples who accept the fact that there are limits, both personal and collective, and that the role of the individual is always subject to responsible action for the good of all. What a concept..
It was the intervention of such teachers into my middle-class life that extracted me out of the yes culture and taught me about the power of no. It is amazing how many yeses there are hidden in the word no.
So...the question,"Is the situation really a threat to my personal survival" is loaded. Situation..mine, yours, ours? Where does the "think global act local" enter the equation? Why are our social advances most often about heroes who are courageous enough to say no? Our amydalas the final arbiter of reason? Let's make no the gateway word to a world of yes for all...
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