What to know about what you don’t know you know. #1: Intuition is very efficient—if you don't overthink it.
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I agree that unconditional love is the answer--but with the caveat of lovingly guiding them to treat the targeted parent with respect along with healthy rules and boundaries (the child will feel worse in the long run if you allow them to treat you badly). I believe that by holding the view that the targeted parent is the healthy role model that child needs, and by acting on that vision, that can be the guidepost these parents need. I don't think playing hard to get by withholding love, or even giving up are the answers. You're just validating the alienating parents' view. As a victim of PA as a child and as an adult--as a step-mom and a mother (3 different perspectives), the child needs a healthy role model who loves them unconditionally, and a parent who forgets and forgives easily. THEY NEED YOU whether they know it or not. Don't allow them to treat you like crap, but lovingly show them the correct way to treat parents and adults alike. Targeted parents have a tough job--they have to be the healthy parents, they have to withstand incredible rejection and demeaning behavior, they have to delicately counteract lies and manipulation, they have to do all this and remain neutral and loving toward a child they no longer recognize. Not an easy job! You're going to lose patience. You're going to feel like giving up. Guess what? That's normal! But, try to hang in there with the vision that your child needs a healthy role model and they'll need you there if/when they eventually come back to their senses.
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