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Cherry, you're simply splitting sexual hairs by stating which straight id'd men "qualify" as genuinely straight or bisexual, according to your own personal, biased standards. To be fair and logical about it, one must acknowledge that there are men who id as straight, live their life that way complete with intimate relationships with bio women (both romantically and sexually), who mostly find themselves attracted to, fantasizing about and involved with females BUT who either have in the past or perhaps sometimes still do engage sexually with another male. It's not fair to call them bisexual if a) they legitimately do not id as such; b) have never found themselves in love with, dating or actively check out and lust over specific males and c) tend to feel no shame or hostility while engaged in sex with another male.(which is different from feeling shame over a secret live or cheating, I'm referring to the sex act itself here). I was sexually involved with a straight male for over two years in college. He had never been involved with a male before or even considered it. While I fell romantically in love with him, the most he could muster was platonic love for me combined with enjoying our sex. It became an obstacle between us because even alone I was aware that he was not gay or even bisexual due to the lack of romantic feelings for me (as compared to what I witnessed when he was with women) and a near constant undercurrent of slight discomfort from him when the sex ended and we were just alone together. We did experience a life threatening incident together several months before our relationship went from close friends to close friends with benefits and in retrospect I believe that may have been the catalyst for the physical relationship because as a result of my actions we were able to emerge from this incident injured but alive. Ultimately, probably even he doesn't know exactly why it started. My point was that it is possible for a straight id'd male to engage in a sexual relationship with another male, even in the receptive role which was our case, and be legitimately straight. In receiving anal sex, he experienced pleasurable sensations he hadn't experienced before; that's about physical, sexual pleasure not emotional feelings or romantic/sexual attraction. I'm friendly with this guy still today, we see each other at alumni events and talk sometimes in between. He's happily engaged to a woman and characterizes me as a one off, an anomaly. While being labeled that way doesn't bring me joy, I think he's being as honest with me as you think your guys are with you, Cherry, regardless of which sexual "role" he manifested when we had sex.
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