What to know about what you don’t know you know. #1: Intuition is very efficient—if you don't overthink it.
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I'm so glad this has been spoken about! Thank you! I permanently deleted my Facebook recently after I got some of my closest friends and family members contact information.
Facebook is now a plethora of chaos, selfishness, ignorance, hatred, and bickering. I couldn't stand it anymore - stupidity there and in general is praised more than intelligence and common sense.
When I first joined Facebook about 6 years ago, it was super enjoyable and an escape from the negativity in mainstream/local news and life. There was lots of positive pictures about love and peace, humor, uplifting quotes, and really funny videos!
It was rare that bad/sad things were shared, and when that happened - there was sincere words of support and contact with one another. Intellectualism and wisdom was always appreciated.
Not anymore. Over time, Facebook started to become what I call Vanity Me-ism and Brag-Jeer We-ism.
(A)"Look at how much better I am than you are because of my fashion sense/expensive/expensive looking aka Fool's Gold material possesions"
(B) "Notice how much more I doing/milestones I did that most you don't get done which is more than you ever will"
I can't tell you how many times I've felt inadequate because they looked amazing (whether or not they or I had a good day or how much they spent). I highly dislike folks like that; I've had to unfollow/remove individuals who acted that way off my friend list.
I have close friends and family who were ALWAYS encouraging and loving strength of self esteem to help me and vice versa.
Being proud of one's accomplishments and rewarding oneself is awesome. It does wonders for the soul, mind and body - but Vanity Me-ism happens A LOT on Facebook. It's like those kinds of individuals are deliberately jerks because:
(1) they can
(2) are megalomaniacs
(3) have low self esteem themselves
(4) all of the above.
I am a domestic violence survivor and single working mom of two incredible, amazing, intelligent, daughters. I'm in college for my second degree in education to be a high school world history teacher. I love seeing happy couples. It's adorably cavity inducing sweet, wonderful and a huge blessing when two people find each other, who loves, trusts, respects, communicates with one another.
I truly wish ALL kindly people could experience falling in love, being on that euphoric plane of beautiful emotions. I don't know what that's like but from observing others - I can only imagine how awesome being loved and in love with a caring man is like.
However I'm not rushing love - I'm having a blast being a mom, single, focusing on furthering my education to help teenagers while raising my gorgeous daughters. Whether or not I fall in love, I can say that I honestly love my kids first then myself - that's all that matters.
Out here in NYC there's many lovely couples of all ethnicities, sexual orientation, incomes, religions, and ages. They don't suffocate the public with their affections... 98% of the time, LOL!
On Facebook it's literally the total opposite. I had Facebook acquaintances (couples) who KNEW they had single/divorced/widowed men/women/dad/moms on their friend lists and those couples purposely did what I consider Brag-Jeer We-ism:
1. "HA HA! I found my soul mate and you'll never get anything like this. You suck!"
2. "I feel sorry for you because you don't have what I got."
I'm like: "Uhh, excuse me Mr./Ms. Pretentious Meanface, just because you put your relationship/marriage on public display ALL DAY doesn't mean you're better than anyone. Have a seat in the Lame Section, morons." I've removed and/or stopped Facebook following people like that.
Couples, non-parent single men/women as well as single dads/moms are irritated that Brag-Jeer We-ism couples WILL NOT shut up about their relationships/marriages - from statuses to pictures because that's ALL THEY TALK ABOUT.
The WORST of Vanity Me-ism individuals and Brag-Jeer We-ism couples are those who have offspring and proudly boast about how their children is an inconvenience. I despise folks like that.
I have a racist, toxic egg donor (biological mother) EXACTLY like that. She nonchalantly told me on the phone that my kids were slow (they are both honor students like I was at their ages), a waste, and I should've been aborted them because they are of mixed ethnicity.
She defended her pedophile ex husband, still does to this day, blames me for "ruining her marriage and love" and her going to prison for allowing him to molest me from ages 6 - 7.5. I cursed her out and cut her off permanently 4 years ago.
I'm African American, both of my kids dads are mixed races themselves: Native American, Korean, Puerto Rican. My children are fluent in French, Spanish, Arabic, Mandarin and learning Korean - I taught them myself. I didn't care that my mother talked reckless about me, I was used to it and can handle her heart crushing dishouts towards me.
She severely overstepped her damn boundaries talking crap about my daughters. My children are my joys and the best blessing that nothing or nobody can top. I won't and NEVER will allow people, places, or things to infiltrate the close and loving bond between my daughters and I.
I will gladly stomp a mudhole through someone's esophagus after I DDT them into the asphalt if they try to damage my mom-daughters relationships. I'll defend my future high school students the same way. My married mother and other Brag-Jeer We-ism couples are despicable and horrible excuses for parental units.
While it's cool for couples to share, but everyday? For hours? It is excessive, regardless of how hard one tries to ignore it! Most of us are all: "look, we're happy for you. Now friggin shove it jabroni."
It's a wondedful sight to behold seeing parents share how lovingly proud and immensely supportive they are of their kids and teens who do well in school/college and at other extracurricular activities. These are the awesome kind of amazing parents that are my inspirations and who I look up to.
One of my closest friends who made some the statuses about both good and bad times, shared great pictures of her husband, sons, and animals she rescued - was murdered by a drunk driver. She was 38 years old and less than 3 blocks from her house.
My buddy celebrated her 20th year wedding anniversary a week prior, received surprising and happy news that her first grandchild will be born soon. The irresponsible driver had numerous police records of harming others from him getting plastered and purposely drove on sidewalks to hit people.
You read that right.
His asinine joyride fatally killed my friend, widowed her husband and her sons are motherless - the youngest being around 12 years old. The alcoholic got 4 years in jail for manslaughter, and he'll get his license back after gets out, no thanks to the lousy, American legal system. He'll continue to hurt or kill more people...deplorable doesn't even begin to cover it!
I hope someone petitions vehicular manslaughter by making it a homicide and life behind bars. Too many families had to bury their loved ones because of some idiot behind the wheel.
My friend was like my older sister, a woman who always was brutally honest, a great mom with a big heart, beautiful soul, rescuer of abandoned, surrendered animals, went out her way to assist others. Her void on Facebook deeply saddened me for months; I posted less and less.
Her husband, sons, family, friends and I still can't get over her untimely death, we never will but moved on while remembering her time here.
I digress. What happened when I deactivated my account: I always ended up signing in Facebook when I swore off of it. Admittedly, the website made it a lot easier for me to socialize. I'm an introverted, quiet bookworm and a grew up in two abusive households - my mother's and paternal grandmother.
The patetnal grandmother called me a Jezebel at age 7 after trying to heal from my molestation and when I was a virgin at 17. I cut all contact with her almost 15 years ago.
I wasn't allowed to socialize with my peers outside of school - I had to babysit my siblings and unruly adoptive niece and nephew. By the time I became an adult, I was naïve and clueless on HOW to interact with adults. Facebook has helped me in that aspect - I'll give them that credit.
A lot of the Facebook pages that I followed started out extremely fun and happy - in a mere few years, the pages became sexist, racist, homophobic in nature, plagued with Facebook cyber-bullies who put others down - from kids to the elderly to the disabled. I've unliked/unfollowed 20 pages that started out awesome ... then ended up being unbearably ignorant.
I kept seeing negativity, fighting, videos of fighting, spam, death, attacks, bigotry, prejudice, racism, etc. on Facebook. Every year there would be something that was saddening, kept in the loop because people confuse informing with oversharing:
One year there was nothing but funeral pictures of deceased babies and toddlers. Another year was nothing but police brutality against citizens or violence against officers helping citizens. Another year was nothing but people doing stupid stunts sober and drunk. Another year was nothing but murders/assaults against interracial/same ethnicity/LGBT couples.
The Kartrashians are everywhere on Facebook. I seriously cannot comprehend the American media's warped obsession with them.
I tweaked my Facebook page to keep it light hearted and blocked inhumanely cruel individuals - even that didn't help. I noticed that there's vindictive Facebook folks who constantly play on others compassion and gullibility:
(I) by exploiting pics of sick children with "thumbs up to save this dying child's life"
(II)"100 likes and God will save her/him"
(III)"how many amens for Jesus"
(IV)"like/comment if you want this by tomorrow" - pictures of expensive cars, large houses and photos of numerous stacks of hundred dollar bills that was confiscated by the Feds during massive drug raids.
Enough is enough. Deleting my Facebook page is one of the best decisions I ever made for my sanity. I'm glad I said to myself: "it's way past due and high time for me to leave the addictive, mentally imprisoning mangled mess of despair that is Facebook alone".
I did, feel great, and NEVER looked back.
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