What to know about what you don’t know you know. #1: Intuition is very efficient—if you don't overthink it.
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Where are you getting your "excerpts" from? - Sources?! You make a great case from a religious, puritanical mindset of insecurity about yourself. The same people ban fine art nudes, report them to whatever website is running them like facebook even if a beautiful young woman shows her backside a little bit. Censorship is alive and very well in America and many other countries along with prudish behavior attacking open sexual behavior. We do live in an ever growing anti-lgbtq world that is harshly back-lashing at the Supreme court's ruling because they have misread the Holy Bible concerning "homosexual" behavior. Why then was it fine for ancient Israel kings to have multiple wives as Salomon did? The modern "civilized world has always resented sexual freedoms" Remember Hitler hated porn too as do most mass murderers. This PHD that wrote the initial article dares to speak out for the men in our world that are constantly being henpecked and emasculated by their wives while they bought by the millions far worse and explicit sex novels like romance novels and a little known mega-seller "50 Shades of Grey" and it's sequels. My wife objects sternly to porn and masturbation. Yet she's read those novels religiously. Did I complain, did I complain when I know she's fantasizing about other men? Do I complain when she is clearly openly flirting with other men of all ages from 18 on? NO. Because women have fantasies. Don't believe me, read "The secret garden" and many fantasies are messed up in my beliefs, but to each their own. It's in their minds and feeling free instead of trapped in a relationship and dragging your man to a counselor for doing what is basically natural for him as men are visual creatures and forget instantly about the actresses in the porn video. They could care less about dating them or anything and would never consider adultery in real life. In fact, Jesus referred to the "Lust for a woman/committing adultery in their hearts" as he deplored perversion of men against women. Porn is illegal and punishable by death in more 3rd-world regions, yet the men are generally rapists, abusers and pedophiles! Why, because male sexuality is completely different than a woman's sexual nature. If women generally loved porn also, they wouldn't think the way your reports show. The general destruction of marriage is far deeper than their husbands looking at porn and the women in the various tests cited prove this. Communication, desire and love died a long time ago and in this world of blaming others for you own insecurities we find a great scapegoat in porn! The devil's tools. Got news for you, if he didn't look at porn, he would be fantasizing about your friends, your daughter's friends in college and that IS dangerous for where a man thinketh, he will follow. Women are driven by mental stimuli and men - visual. Yet, it's the visual that is demonized in even western culture. Many eastern cultures see no problem with men and porn as long as they love their wives and they do and would never think of cheating on them physically. The problem is, and it's a big problem that causes all of those "studies" that are probably very biased against porn; is they don't take into account what goes on mentally in the minds - why because they can't. We know nothing of how mental processing really works. If men did what women did, read books, openly flirt, fantasize about someone they know, then yea, be worried, because their is a serious problem in the marriage. Yet it's "ok" for the women that emasculate millions of years of evolution for men versus women. Men are visual creatures and have very, very fragile emotions. They aren't you for they don't have vaginas and they weren't raised not to masturbate like American women are raised to do. Studies show that if younger women after puberty masturbated more, then they would be 90% more likely to reject the boys in real life until they are ready, but unfortunately end up date raped most of the time by their boyfriends at 14, 15 or as early as 13 or even worse! Even when I was a young man looking at porn, I had my standards and ethics, I thought it wrong for underage girls to have sex even if they wanted to with me and I would reject them until I was ready. I lost my virginity in a "healthy" way that was wonderful at 19 - I waited. I never cheated on a woman, ever in real life yet some of the more open-minded women that were in my life didn't have a problem with it. Guess who did get cheated on by his first wife?! While I was faithful and I was a freshman in art college at 28! How many young women literally begged me for extramarital sex is numerous, yet I remained faithful to an unfaithful wife. The problem is women emotionally attach to fantasies and men lust for the brief moment and they are done and can get back to work and never think about the young pretty girl in the porn video again. There are exceptions of course, but you presented circumstantial "evidence" excerpts that were probably taken out of context of the entire study. What source did they come from? Cosmo, Christian based research? Porn is a simple way for men to escape into a fantasy world especially when the wife isn't "feeling" it. Then after they deny men sex after marriage, they wonder why men look at porn, yet he's busting his ass 24/7 so you can have that nice house you will probably get in divorce as laws are written in divorce court to favor the poor woman who spent years destroying the man's self confidence and not allowing him sexual freedoms mentally while they can. See the double standard. Women are not always the victims. We men talk too. We don't gather around and giggle about that cute stock boy in the mail room. We might remark, "That woman's hot!" and know deep down inside it's never going to happen because we are getting older and we aren't as sexy as we think in minds (what's left of them after years of mental torture from the wife). "I never said that!?" usually comes out in an argument, etc. Like I said, if we acted the way women do around erotic literature as we don't DARE read the diaries. If we fantasized secretly about the men or women in literature that could never live up to the hype in those books (rich, successful billionaire, etc, like women do, then it might be different. But we are not wired like women. We are visual creatures. If more women found the male body as beautiful as the female, you better believe their would be a lot more male fantasy porn out there. Finally if it's not porn, we would be still thinking about their eyes, their neck, their perfume. What would you rather have, men lusting after some girl he cares nothing about after he's "Done" after the video or actually thinking about your sister or your friend and writing it down in our diaries? Why not give men a break and sure, if he did it chronically, then it might be a problem. If you sex life is waning, it's not the porn. it both of you. Porn addiction is the new buzzword and it makes billions in therapy as men are dragged to marriage counselors that never really work as I even had a marriage counselor tell me to think seriously about having an affair with another woman as my sexual needs weren't being met near the end. If you even have insinuated to your man that he disgusts you, you can better believe, you just KILLED your sex life with him. Men are more sensitive creatures in the autonomic nervous system than women give them credit for. All in all, I'm saying, porn addiction therapy sells books, lots of them and therapy when this world is imploding from the inside and men are working 2-3 jobs for the big house you wanted and the multiple children that he never gets to see so why not give him a frigging break for 5 minutes!! It's natural (we are sexual animals) and that is why porn sells so well which now shares a 50-60% global market to women. If you have a vibrator, bet you keep that from your husband most likely. Secrets kill relationships, not porn. I bet dollars to donuts if the man felt that you didn't mind him looking at porn, he wouldn't look at it as much or at all, at least he would feel like he's going to hell for not being able to communicate to his wife. I read all of the excerpts and comments below and nearly 90% hate porn. Why then is it so rampant in our society?! Sex sells. Look at your ads in your magazines with the sexy, shirtless hunk or the sexy, beautiful girl you might fantasize about. Difference is, women get the same biochemical reaction from mental images and remember ever detail and go back to that fantasy where men and porn's relationship lasts 5 minutes so he can get back to work and wait for his death.
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