I am hoping that many, many people will read your poignant description of your negative experience with medications for anxiety and depression. The meds clearly did more harm than good, even though physicians' and also psychologists' first ethical rule is Do No Harm.

I do hope that you will keep writing and speaking up about your experience so that others can learn from. it. And that while your past had far too much suffering, may your years ahead be filled with gratifying and joyful experiences.