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When I was young, I really didn't realize my mother didn't love me. I just thought I was always in the way so learned to occupy myself outside or in my room. I began to see differences when I stayed over at friends houses and how their mothers' took up time with them, had real conversations and showed a genuine feeling towards them. I remember how sad it made me feel.
One day, I asked my mother why she couldn't be like other mothers and she asked what I meant. I took this as my opportunity to finally be able to have an opinion so I did. She slapped me hard in the face and told me to shut up so I did.
People don't believe you. They don't believe your mother doesn't love you. They say 'oh you have such nice clothes or a nice house and your mother is so nice'. How could she not love you? It must be my fault and then you try to 'fix' everything but nothing works.
When I had my own kids, I really became angry for the first time. I wanted to hate her and cause her pain. Then I let it go. It came to me that she was the one who lost out and decided I would enjoy my kids. I chose to be the stronger person and be happy.
Its very good to read that someone DOES believe that being unloved by your mother is a real thing. Its brought a few healing tears. Thank you for the affirmation.
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