Thank you for your thoughtful idea, Karen. I agree with you. If we hold out hope **for a better relationship** and that actually is an illusion because of the other's unwillingness to change, this can be very hurtful. Yet, this is not the fault of forgiveness itself. We have to make a distinction between forgiving and waiting in the hope of reconciliation. These are very different. So, as we forgive, we might then increase the hope that our inner world will get healthier. At the same time, we have to realize that the hope of a better relationship is not exclusively dependent on our forgiveness but also on the other person's willingness to change, which may not occur.

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