"The real motive behind all verbal abuse, regardless of its nature, is to retaliate against you, or to gain or retain control over you or to prevent you from getting what you deserve."

Ah ha! Gotcha. Anything you build on that premise is false, since the premise itself is logically false. That is NOT the "real motive behind all verbal abuse" (although your injecting the term "abuse" is self-servingly misleading). I'll use an example and make it specific rather than broadly vague: racial epithets. If I call a negro a n****r, that can be merely an expression of my contempt. Sharing my contempt need neither be "retaliatory" (retaliation assumes the object has first taken some action I find objectionable), nor does it "gain or retain control" over the object of my contempt, nor does it "prevent (the object) from getting what (he/she) deserves".