What to know about what you don’t know you know. #1: Intuition is very efficient—if you don't overthink it.
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I generally liked this article. In most respects it is spot-on. My only caveat for this an every other article is to keep ever in mind your own warning that narcissists are always out to make themselves the victims. When I read that you had a hard time believing all the wild things that these people will do--but that they never-the-less did them--I had to wonder what your source of information was. Yes, narcissists can do these things, but if they sound truly way-out, isn't it just as likely that these behaviors are made up by the real narcissist? I know I have been the object of a smear campaign from a narcissist--but because of the narcissist's projection--this person assumes that I am doing a similar smear campaign to him/her. Nothing could be further from the truth. In fact, I have gone out of my way to avoid saying much of anything to friends who inquire about this narcissist, in hopes that one day he/she will reform and then won't have a super hard time dealing with his/her own fall-out. But, still, I am seen as the awful person, and frankly, I can only imagine what weird and wild stuff is being said about me. I have just withdrawn. I decided that this person has been pulling away for a long time, and I have wanted to keep things together because I have the model of not giving up on family. But this person doesn't want a relationship. I have given him/her that. I have released him/her. But that doesn't mean she/he is well, nor that there aren't people out there (reading this forum?) willing to believe every story they hear.
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