What to know about what you don’t know you know. #1: Intuition is very efficient—if you don't overthink it.
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I would like to mention children raised by single moms. Sure I made mistakes. I'm more than willing to go to counseling. I do on my own. My kids on their own accord, have said they had a great childhood.
There are sons as well as daughters who find a "new family", during their formative high school years. They have large extended family with high IQ's, more money and the in laws expect their complete attention and loyalty. No room for other parents.
No matter how much I've been there and shown love for my child, I'm not enough. I remind her of what she doesn't want. She is married, has her own children and her husband comes first. I see my grandchildren often, as long as I tow some imaginary line that I'm not supposed to cross. I'm wanted for babysitting although If I point that out Im told they will find someone else and I won't see them at all. Socializing and trips to Disney are preferred with his family. It's more fun with a crowd, cousins and cottage on the lake.
I've stated my feelings several times over 15 years. Each time I'm lied to, screamed at, given the silent treatment and nothing is ever resolved. At some point I've been punished long enough for my insolence and she starts talking to me again. Then I walk on egg shells. I've begged to do counseling. She went once and refuses to go back. Recently she sent me an email saying she has argued with me 3-4 times this year, can't handle it, and wants 6 months no contact. My heart is crushed. I keep thinking, time is the only thing you can't get back. I was able to see my grandchildren and may still. I don't know the rules. It will certainly make me less willing to be close to them with the fear they will be ripped away forever. I will take the responsibility that is mine, it would be better if I knew what that was. I disagree that all mothers are the problem when daughters disconnect.
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