What to know about what you don’t know you know. #1: Intuition is very efficient—if you don't overthink it.
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I divorced their father when my youngest was less than a year old. I have two daughters. Without a doubt the divorce had an effect on them. Their father wasn’t around very often. Both daughters said I’m a wonderful mother. They are college grads. I’m not. I taught them love, respect to others and themselves and which fork to use. To be curious. love Art,music, theatre, supported the sports and other activities they were in and being open minded. School was important and they did well. To me this is a classic case of my college educated daughter moving upward. It wouldn’t matter if I were married or divorced. My point was, it’s not always “the Mother’s fault”. I raised a daughter to be independent and successful. She has achieved that and tells me now I don’t like the result. A child meeting a potential mate while in high school makes a difference. These are still formative years. They finished high school and graduated from the same college his family attended. My son in laws family is educated and large. They live within blocks of each other and get together all of the time to play cards, trivia and discuss books and current events. My daughter never had that big family. There is no room in her mother in laws territory for another mother nor would I make the cut. As a result I’m on the “b” list. If I mention any issues about that, and getting more of their time, I’m rewarded with the silent treatment. (something she learned from them). I know this because I’ve heard her talk about it. Daughters and sons often pick the spouses family over the other simply to keep the peace and other times because a big extended family with brother and sister in laws create a party atmosphere. The grandkids have cousins where birthday parties are continuously happening. I’m expected to be on call for the grandkids but my daughter and son in law are bored to tears with just me. I run my own business and believe I’m intelligent but I’m not college educated. Recently ive been told I’m not respected for my years of experience or asked for advice because all others have degrees that warrant their expertise in any life subject that would occur. I’m allowed time with my grandkids. Until the day they outgrow me. Pity party? Perhaps but it’s reality in many families. Parents are loving and do a good job then are left behind.
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