Sharing personal information brings people closer together. But how do you know when you’ve gone too far—or when someone else has ulterior motives?
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of complete radio silence is way, way underrated. It takes two to tango, and if there is nothing there to monitor, abuse in that arena cannot by implication take place. With the proliferation of social media and constant telephone availability, there seems to have grown this idea that one cannot live without it. Not only can you live without it, but living without it can give you a little distance and some semblance of peace. Keep one cellphone on you with an automatic app that you can activate to call police and record what's going on in case you need it, but other than that, then don't use the damn phone! Domestic abusers are singularly dedicated to harming their targets, and are maddeningly impervious to the controls that stop most people from doing that. They're not one bit afraid of jail, or losing their jobs, or of getting hurt. Those are minor temporary setbacks. I too am a former prosecutor, and I know that nothing works to deter domestic abusers except to outsmart them. If I were in that position, I would arm myself heavily and hide. I'd hide cameras and silent alarms so I'd know when he was in the vicinity. I'd hide anywhere I could and keep moving until the abuser got tired and had his attention drawn to a new victim, which he will eventually. "That's not fair!" you say. Well, there are plenty of victims who are pushing up daisies because they insisted on taking a course they thought was "fair." They thought that because they didn't do anything wrong they could continue to follow their old routine, go to their old jobs, drive their old cars, hang around with their old friends and families, all of which he knows like the back of his hand. No one is going to protect you but you. There's no magnetic force field between you and his fists or club or gun. The cops just come in after you are dead, clean up the mess, and arrest whodunnit. You just have to last him out. Either that, or get yourself a huge biker boyfriend to plant a biker boot in his face, or shoot him yourself and be totally willing to sit in jail for it. I would. They do listen to that sometimes.
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