wrote:

One of the most devastating emotional, physical, and spiritual wounds in a couple can be when cheating occurs. Once this is discovered, the betrayed partner wants to know the truth while the offending partner may acknowledge the infidelity

It doesn't always follow that model. I know of two couples where the wives steadfastly refused to have sex, with one couple even going to therapy to try to resolve the problem. In both cases the husbands made no secret about the fact that they would felt free to go outside the marriage, and especially so if after announcing just that, their wives still refused. And so they both did. One even moved in with the other woman. In both cases the wives wanted to stay married as sex was really the only issue. I suspect the problem was more hormonal for the women reaching middle age with menopause, etc. They're all still together, though I'm not sure they've resolved their sexual problems, or if they've come to some sort of resolution with discreetly open marriages.

I think in both cases, the frustrated husbands figured they'd be found out anyway, and that they had nothing to lose by threatening to go outside the marriage if their wives didn't take the sexual problem seriously, and that the threat might shake up their wives. Well, it didn't, which is an interesting insight for all those women who say "if only I'd known my husband was so sexually frustrated". Though in one of the cases, I think the wife though the husband was bluffing, and she was shocked to find he actually found a girlfriend and moved in with her. Funny thing, instead of demanding divorce, she begged him to come back.

Just sayin', secrecy isn't necessarily part of cheating. A lot of situations don't fit the description in this article, though I'm sure therapists have seen all these situations, many of which can be unique, I'm sure.