I really hate that there is this implied obligation for someone who was victimized to forgive their transgressor. This article focuses in on only the qualities of the betrayed that might give rise to the ability to forgive. It completely ignores the facts that people in a position to forgive may have been:

1. Traumatized.
2. Abused, emotionally, physically, sexually, or some combination of the above.

So how about we talk about how to heal from a betrayal, rather than asking if someone, who is more than likely already suffering in profound ways, “has what it takes to forgive”? This feels too much like shaming those who have been wronged into feeling a certain way.

I also want to throw it out there that sometimes it’s not best to reconnect or reestablish a bond with someone who has seriously transgressed against you.