Sharing personal information brings people closer together. But how do you know when you’ve gone too far—or when someone else has ulterior motives?
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The husband is a chatter box and I love him, obviously, but he has a nasty habit of starting to talk to me when I am trying to watch a movie, read or go to bed. We have started to have a sense of humor about it.
I have become more gracious about accommodating his many friends on outings, and I insist on knowing ahead of time if others will be accompanying us. I also don’t like last minute guests, particularly if I don’t know them very well.
He has finally caught on that I am introverted as well as shy and that I need to spend considerable time one on one or groups of two at a time with his friends to feel comfortable with them. Instantaneous rapport does not happen for a shy introvert in a noisy group of five or more people.
One thing I want to say about extroverts, particularly the most outgoing ones is they can be talented when they take the time of helping more quiet types feel comfortable. Some extroverts, the more insecure ones won’t even try to engage a quieter person and see them as too much work.
Not to say I sit around like a bump on a log being deathly silent. I’m a kind and engaging human being and polite always, I just don’t have that gift of constant gab. There will be silences. That’s because I’ve noticed that at least for me as an introvert I don’t volunteer a bunch of extra information about myself. Extroverts like my husband always over-explain or over-talk, giving people free information they can build a conversation on.
I can have interesting things happen to me in the course of a day or week or month and have that stuff completely fly out of my head when it comes to talking with people. I have to consciously think about that stuff, whereas my husband doesn’t seem to have to. It just pours forth. He loves nothing more than talking and being with people anywhere. Bars, mostly.
I am bored to tears with that. He finds random people he meets and light conversations entertaining and I do not. I’d rather watch a movie, a play, read a book or do the cross word puzzle. That’s entertainment to me, not listening to some random barfly talk about whatever. My pursuits seem like boring time wasters until the socializing can happen to extroverts like my husband.
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