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My husband and I have been together for just over three years, married for just over two of those years. I am the extrovert and he is the introvert. I grew up in a very large Catholic family, and was involved in many clubs and activities in high school/college including my church youth group for over 10 years. I enjoy surrounding myself with friends, I enjoying being with friends and hosting/being at social gathering. It's been a part of my life since I was born as both sides of my family have a lot of people.
My husband struggled with depression in high school, grew up in a family where his parents were divorced, siblings were much older than him, and didn't have any friends growing up. So clearly, he is more comfortable being alone.
I think the thing that is the biggest issue with our difference is that he absolutely HATES social gatherings. The only thing he'll agree to and actually enjoy is a gathering of 6 people or less, and where he knows all of the people, gets along with them, and can have genuine fun. He is not good at making friends or pretending to be friends with people.
I on the other hand am very good at making friends, I can talk to/get along with pretty much anyone, and can find fun in any situation, so I don't mind going places where we may not know as many people or where there is a large group.
He is perfectly fine staying home while I go to these gatherings, but I feel as though a husband and wife should go to events together. We compromise by going but leaving early together, so we at least get to go to the event but don't stay the entire time. However, I feel that doing that makes us seem anti-social and our co-workers won't want to invite us to anything in the future. The only time he wants to stay later is when he is having fun, if he isn't we leave early. I don't necessarily like the compromise, that he gets to dictate how long we stay, but at least we get to go together and spend time together.
Don't get me wrong, I am perfectly content staying in, doing things just the two of us, or having just a few friends over, I am not an extrovert to the extent where I need to be doing things every day/night that make him uncomfortable. We have so much fun together and if someone told me I could only spend time with him for the rest of my life I'd be ok with that! (which is probably a good thing considered I agreed to marry him!) But there are times that I do want to get together with a group of friends or go to a social function and he is mopey and makes it very known how much he doesn't like "these types of events".
I feel as though we compromise by doing things just the two of us and with small groups of people he chooses, that he can go to some events that I want to go to without complaining once in a while. I love him unconditionally so I will obviously do whatever makes him comfortable, I just feel so guilty when we go to an event that I know he doesn't enjoy because I don't want to be the cause of his unhappiness!
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