Happened upon this blog and it hits home. As a child I watched not only my mother being abused by my father but I watched my mother's father abuse his wife (my Mom's mother.) The abuse was not only emotional and verbal but physical at times with my father threatening many times, "to blow my mother's head off" with a gun. Many nights as a child I would not sleep because I felt I had to stay awake and listen for the killing to start so that I might at least get my younger sister and brother out. Then at the age of 19yrs old and while serving my country in the Air Force I was drugged and raped by two other Airmen. I have had two failed marriages and many failed relationships but I am in my third marriage and I think because this husband is a medical professional and understands me it is going to not only work this time but I think he is helping me see that not all men are bad. I still feel that overall women in this world have been abused and are still being abused but I know not all men are guilty of doing this. My biggest problem now is coming to terms with my father and his denial that my childhood should have shaped who I am now. I am not into blaming but I think his acknowledgement would help me.