What to know about what you don’t know you know. #1: Intuition is very efficient—if you don't overthink it.
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As I stated in my original comment, I was incredibly moved by this article. Facing multiple chronic illnesses and progressively worsening health--with no family to help me or support me--while trying as hard as I can to live life and get through school so that I can try as hard as I can to work (to get healthcare and food and medicine) is often disheartening, and not something even the few amazing friends I do have can begin to understand. I felt truly blessed to come across this article and to see in writing all the things I think and feel and WISH I could somehow explain without sounding like I was complaining.
Each one of us who reads this comes with our own story. For me, I have several illnesses....I'm perhaps "more lucky" that they are diagnosed more easily, that they have names, that they show up on tests and are more "believed". I am likewise "less lucky" in some other ways--no family at all to fall back on no matter how bad things get, a very grim prognosis, the loss of most of the people who called themselves both surrogate family and friends.
I spent a long time being angry, and a longer time in mourning. It would be naive of me to think I'm done with those emotions "forever"....each progressive decline in my health will naturally bring me to revisit them, to become fearful for myself and my future, as the "at some point" comes closer and the decisions I have to face alone become more serious.
But until then--and in between those moments--I'm starting to appreciate the small things. Sometimes they're really small--like waking up in the morning without puking up last night's meal(one of my illnesses involves GI failure). Or the sound of a friend's voice on the phone. Getting to Friday is ALWAYS a celebration for me--a bigger one if I made it without a trip to the hospital, but still a celebration if I had to "stop by the ER" sometime along the way during the week. (I admit, I HATE finding myself IN the hospital on a Friday evening. THAT kills my mood.)
And I appreciate seeing articles like this--that remind me that I'm NOT the only one who faces the struggles that I hide every day. That SOMEONE--or more than one someone--understands what it's like for me. That I'm NOT ALONE, even when I feel like I am.
Unfortunately, I don't think anyone has "solutions" for any of us...(though if someone DOES, feel free to pass them along!!) I think the only "solution" is taking comfort in knowing that others have gone before us and have survived....or are going through the same things, and "get it". There's comfort in numbers....
...until our miracles come through, anyway;)
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