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I found that with myself and friends who have been the older sibling there is so much pressure on them from the parents that they may lose their innocence.
Even into adulthood they are often expected to have the best jobs, homes etc because they are set up as eternal role models.
Because they are older the parents are usually biased to the younger siblings in fights because they say unfair statements such as: "you are older and should know better." (despite the fact a child is still a child)
They blame bad behaviour from younger sibling on older as they "copy" them. They do not treat each case indivually which is a momumental stress on the eldest to be "perfect".
What the parents forget is the old sibling is still a child, playful, immature and just as insecure. They can't be expected to be role models based on age gaps and should be left to enjoy their childhood as much as the youngest.
I don't think I would have hated all this responsibility as much if I actually got the same respect in proportion to the abuse and weighty responsibilty lectures I recieved.
What is the point of being the extra parent, the older more responsible.. when all you get back is constant torment from the youngers and then if you snap a big lecture on being mature from the parents= All pain with no gain.
The abuse came in form of doing things behind parents back and then when I snapped back making sure the parent was there to "catch" me. The denying any provocation and crying like a victim of something horrible I had never done.
This would be normal if it weren't for the fact it continued into an age where they are well aware beyond any doubt of the rips it was creating with parents and caused me to be kicked out of home...
It is certainly a bad sign as even after feeling so low within the family and moving out any attempts to come visit and spend time with family the younger would get a mystery illness, sudden crisis so that I could not visit or get help I desperately needed.
Now I can't even attend family events because of them as they will be sure to create a drama which I will be blamed for.
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