What is a much more fruitful aproach is tgo analyse the marriage in terms of what each partner contributed and got out of the relationshipeg - I contributed submissiveness, which enabled the narcissists grandiosity, he contributed rage which enabled my fear to grow. Only when I see what I put in can I see how my behaviour informed the resulting nightmare. Only when I see what I really got out of the marriage can I see what I need to change in myself to avoid another disaster...

oo many people never look at how their childhoods prepared them for life with a psychopath; they just think they were unlucky. The first relationship or marriage with a psychopath paves the way for another and another as the non psychopath tries harder and harder using exactly the wrong strategies and behaviours ie the bahviours etc that attracted the first, second, third and subsequent psychopaths to them in the first place.

The only answer is for the non psychopath to change their world view, their attitudes towards themself and their abusers. This is really hard and painful: goldfish don't know they live in water...