Dear Vanessa,

In this post I meant rather a different stage of the recovery process: I was surprised by my irritability, nausea, etc., because I thought I'd got past the point where hunger was such a precarious part of life. But what you describe about the previous phase sounds precisely like my experience of it - and all I can say in that respect is: don't be afraid of keeping eating. I know what you mean about its feeling like a spiritual hunger because one's body feels satiated, but after such deep and thorough starvation it really is just the body (and the brain) craving all the tiny little nutrients that have been so long missing, desperate to regain all it can in this magic new era that isn't in famine mode, rebuilding all those bones and tissues and brain-prtoecting fluids and everything else that's become so depleted.

I'm not sure now when I first realized that I wasn't hungry all the time. The stage before that was food stopping being the most important thing in my life - represented by stopping eating chocolate last thing at night every single night -, and that was about four months after I started eating the 500 extra daily calories. I think it was only a few months ago really - so a little over a year in - that I began to feel at mealtimes that I couldn't just eat forever if I let myself, but that what I had in front of me was actually *enough* in a more complete sense.

Noticing these little changes (normally some time after the shift) has been a delightful, life-affirming process: understanding how good one's body is at making itself better if one will just give it the means and the time to. And we do have the luxury of being able to.

Anyway, very very glad to be of service in the averting-self-loathing department; there's nothing moral about it, just life asserting itself again at last - more stridently than one would like, sometimes, but quite simply.

I wish you all the best for your imminent change of location and life-style.

Emily